If you have children, you probably feel guilty at least occasionally for not trying hard enough to be a good parent. This feeling is aggravated by the fact that almost every acquaintance, relative and commentator on the Internet considers it his duty to mention that a child needs to devote all of himself, because children are sacred. And if your friends become parents, you are regularly refused an offer to go to an exhibition or go to nature, because Nastya or Petya are capricious when they stay with their grandmother.
Traditionally, the burden of responsibility puts particular pressure on the mother. If a disorderly father is a negative phenomenon, but generally familiar, then a bad mother is a real stigma. In the book Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood, sociologist Sharon Hayes notes: The modern concept of intensive motherhood calls on a woman to give her children all resources, including money, emotional and time, to the end. At the same time, refusal to make any sacrifice for the sake of the child is condemned.
Nevertheless, when an airplane is depressurized, it is not for nothing that it is advised to put on an oxygen mask first on yourself and only then on the child. If you choke, you will definitely not help the weaker one.
Of course, it can be difficult to keep up with everything and something will inevitably sag, but important parts of life - love , friendship, career, creativity - should not be completely erased due to parenting. Otherwise, you will not be able to set a good example for your children.
Excessive concentration on the child does not bring anything good in the first place for himself. If he constantly asks for his hands, refuses to sleep without his parents, does not know how to occupy himself, throws things around, does not want to learn to serve himself and arranges demonstration performances, perhaps the reason is just excessive custody. Give your son or daughter space and boundaries (not to be confused with coldness and indifference), and everyone in the family will have more freedom to grow.