When a man and woman enter marriage, they face more responsibilities. These responsibilities may sometimes overwhelm the couple especially after leading independent lives that allowed them to decide on their own for many years before tying the knot. Family and marriage therapists advice that responsibilities be shared by both husband and wife to avoid conflicts.
Household chores need to be divided. The wives should not be burdened all the time by housekeeping work because the husbands can always do their share. Resentment can result if one spouse bears the burden of much of these household chores. Both should have an active role in completing the work around the house. What matters is teamwork in order to accomplish the tasks quicker and to establish a stronger and happier relationship. Talking about the responsibilities is important to avoid overlapping of work. Additionally, one should inform the other if he or she won’t be able to perform a certain task or if he or she is starting to feel overburdened.
Financial responsibilities need to be discussed as well. Remember that this is one aspect which can be a source of conflict and stress among couples. A spouse should, therefore, make sure not to let financial concerns get in the way of their marriage. It would be best to sit down and talk about your expected monthly expenses and how to work on a certain budget. In this way, each one of you is aware of what’s going on and you are involved in making decisions concerning your finances. If both spouses are working, sharing in the household expenses is an ideal thing to do.
Two-way communication is essential in establishing a successful marriage. Be honest and open about what you feel regarding certain aspects of your life whether positive or negative so that your partner is aware about your emotions and reactions. Learn to listen to what one has to say and do your best to understand each other’s thoughts and opinions.
Be able to deal with the negatives in your relationship. Talk things out and settle the issue as soon as possible so that negative emotions don’t linger within yourself for long. There’s no need to nag and raise voices when discussing problems because this would only aggravate the situation. Calm down and think about what you have to say before talking.
Do take the initiative to say sorry if you know you have done something wrong that hurt your partner’s feelings. Doing so won’t harm you but it will even show your acceptance of your weaknesses. Be forgiving as well and try not to bring up what wrong actions were done in the past. To forgive is a divine act as they say so practicing it in your marriage will surely lessen the stress.
Keep in mind that it takes the two of you in establishing a well-balanced, happy and enduring relationship. It’s not a one-way street. And since there are two of you, the value of sharing should always be present in your everyday life whether it’s in your finances, household chores and emotions. The more that sharing should exist when you already have children to raise.
For information on family and marriage counseling, please visit The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory, one of the top directories for therapists in the US and Canada.