Why Love Disappears in The Process of Family Life

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Why Do Some People Vanish from Marriage Life?

When you are in love, it seems that nothing can interfere with your happiness. A loved one fills your whole being, and you want it to be so always.

Of course, the first thought that overshadows your bright head is this: “We will get married, live together until 100 years old and die in one day, because it is impossible to live even a second without a loved one . ” Now take off your rose-colored glasses. Love is wonderful, and God forbid that it lasts as long as possible, but building a marriage on love alone is the same as having only candy all your life. Sooner or later, the stomach will hurt.

Relationship Between Spouses

There are several unspoken rules for creating a happy marriage: do not wash dirty linen in public, stop complaining, you need not swear, but talk. And patience, my friend, you will need to stock up on them well. The editors will tell you in detail why everything has been going to hell until now.

Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash

If you want to grow old with a person, it is unlikely that the reason is his bottomless eyes or chic curls. This is enough to make you fall in love, and even then not always. And in order to live in perfect harmony and be happy, you need to know each other and be able to communicate.

“Can you read?” – asked us a teacher in the first year of the Faculty of Philology. And everyone answered with a laugh: “Of course we can . ” And when she asked to demonstrate her speaking skills, someone stumbled on a difficult word or intoned incorrectly.

So that’s it. Can you communicate? Why, having lived in marriage for several years, the spouses are disappointed and remember the candy-bouquet period, which seems to them the best in the relationship? Because at this time you try to get to know each other, are attentive to trifles, spend your free time together – communicate, in a word.

You will not find this communication with fire during the day, when everyday routine takes up all your free time, and after work you just want to drop your hooves. What a trip to the cinema! If for a partner a trip to an exhibition, a movie or a theater is vital, and you hate operetta, make an effort on yourself. Remember how charming your wife is when she is happy. On the contrary, when you want to watch your favorite TV series, and your husband needs to pass the 90th level in “tanks”, let him pass.

Distribution of responsibilities at home
Photo by Roselyn Tirado on Unsplash

On the basis of the stereotypes that we have been imbued with all our lives, the idea of ​​relationships, marriage, raising children, and so on is built. “The husband must earn money, and the wife is obliged to create comfort at home,” - such a worn-out phrase, it would seem, but it is used in the 21st century. But there is some truth here: you need to distribute responsibilities.

It doesn’t matter if your partner is better at cleaning, and you have more money to earn, each his own. It is important to know that in any situation you can count on your husband to come by the store after work, because you have agreed so.

The distribution of responsibilities in everyday life plays a very important role in the relationship between spouses. This is done not because someone is very cunning, but because it is so comfortable for both of them to coexist. If everything is done correctly, there will be a feeling of coziness and mutual understanding not only among your guests, but also among you.

Reasonable solution to conflict situations
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It doesn't matter what you got into a fight, adults will always find a smart solution together. You only need to discuss the problem that led to the quarrel, and not all the previous ones, which you cite as an example and thereby add fuel to the fire. Know how to hear each other, agree or disagree, make reasonable arguments. Well, you scream, break the plates, so what? And nothing, just buy new dishes later.

It's another matter when you run to tell your mom or your best friend. Never do that. Relatives are sacred, but when you start your own family, do not let other people dig into your underwear. Because when you make up, your mother will still be unhappy with her son-in-law, and your friend may not be the best at all.

Take care of each other

Two people create a family, so it is important to remember that everyone is trying as much as possible. Say "thank you" for the cooked dinner, clean up after the cat, even if it's not your duty, take out the trash, bake a pie for no reason, give a flower just like that - such little things. But life consists of such little things, unforgettable moments that you remember on difficult days.

In order to build a strong, friendly family, you must respect your partner and sometimes put up with his imperfections. We are talking about small oversights, not beatings and drunkenness - this is a wake-up call, if nothing but memories keeps you, you should either go to a specialist and try to solve the problem together, or break off this relationship.

Of course, you need to respect your partner and trust him. But you should not forget about yourself as a person. If the spouse does not support and inhibits personal development in some way, then you will have to leave. You don't need to say to anyone : “I wasted 15 years on you” - learn to end a relationship with someone who doesn't suit you. But first, discuss everything together: a fruitful conversation can save a drowning marriage.

Tell your friends on social networks what the relationship between spouses should be like.

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By: Jess Lorinter

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